Sundance

Sundance

Curiosity, poking his nose surreptitiously from behind the shelter Sundance tentatively reaches through the fence to taste the bridle left hanging on the gate.  His lips touch the leather as he smells and tastes it, taking it in with all of his senses, in his own time, because he is interested, because he is curious.  It makes me immeasurably happy to see him investigate these tools that humans employ. He’s come a long way from the malnourished, timid, food aggressive, fearful of everything, angry horse we picked up last year.

This spring Sundance is a rough and tumble 9 year old.  He loves to play hard with his herd mates, his favorite games are rearing and ‘head wrestling’. He can duck under the bottom strand of electric tape like a fish, in one fluid, graceful movement, a trick that served him well in his early days as he explored his comfort level with the rest of the equine residents here.  It also gave him free access to the arena should he choose to investigate ‘what I was up to’ with another horse. He has been given free rein to go and do and be where he is comfortable.  He’s finding his place in the herd, he knows he will always have enough to eat, that we will never force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do.  He’s been here for a year and this was the first time I ever saw him touch a bridle of his own volition. 

During his first 6 months with us the mere sight of me putting a bridle on another horse would send Sunny running for the north end of the property where he would stick his head in a corner and stay there.  It was a gradual process for him to come to terms with his past that began with him ducking under the fence to come hang close, watching, touching, investigating while I worked with other horses.  He’d happily keep us company while I groomed but the moment a piece of tack or equipment appeared he was gone.  Over time he decided he could hang around and investigate as we tacked up, sniffing the saddle and pad as they sat on another horse’s back and watching with trepidation and interest as we put on the bridle.  He’d follow us to the mounting block but turn tail and run the moment I stepped foot in the stirrup.  Before long he began to follow me around while I rode another horse, sticking his nose under my dance partner’s tail and being generally very helpful!

I routinely carry a halter with me when teaching lessons because Sunny will randomly pop into the arena to interact with the horse being ridden and I have to catch him so he'll hang with me instead following the horse and rider around with his nose under their tail.

Sundance, like so many other horses, was likely misunderstood by the people who had him before he ended up at a horse rescue, he’s a very communicative, intelligent horse and that is not always appreciated by people who want a horse to do a job without sharing their opinions.  We will never know the details of what happened to him, what he did or what they thought was wrong with him to motivate them to donate him.  What is clear is that Sundance came here traumatized by his early experiences with humans.  He behaved as though everything had been done to him under circumstances where he had no control and no voice. He tells me his history, what’s been done to him, through his behavior, through his reactions to tack, to grooming, to being asked to do things and what he tells me is that he didn’t enjoy any of it, that at some point he rebelled and that’s probably what landed him at the horse rescue. 

Sundance and the herd, human and horse, supporting a rider as she worked through her fear. 

He spent this last year finding his way back, learning to trust people and other horses, releasing his fears and trusting again.  Touching that bridle was a big deal, it tells me that he’s not living in fear anymore, that he’s freeing himself of the burdens he’s carried.  Whether he chooses to ever be worked with or ridden again doesn’t matter to me, it will be his choice, all I care about is that he isn’t stuck living with the ghosts of his past.  He’s emotionally free, he’s healthy and his spirit is intact.

Alison, Sunny's sponsor, cold hosing his leg.  He was very good at wading into the herd and offending someone and had a nasty habit of getting kicked in or near the left knee.  So glad he learned to get out of the way!  Being hosed was another thing he had to learn to accept.

The day Sundance arrived here. He had to live in a solid run away from the other horses for a number of reasons, firstly that he was extremely, extremely food aggressive.  His left hind leg was always puffy from kicking the fence violently whenever another horse was anywhere in the vicinity, he'd charge, wheel and kick if a horse 10 feet away even LOOKED at him while he was eating. We had to be careful because if we were between him and another horse when there was food around he could easily forget we were there in his frenzy.  No, we did not punish this behavior, it's a bit like PTSD in humans, his reaction was outside of his control and punishing him would not have helped.  He came from a place where he was not fed enough and not fed quality food, once he learned to trust that he would always have enough he stopped the behavior.

Playing what one of my student's aptly calls the horse version of 'thumb wrestling' with his 30 year old buddy Aero.

Hanging around with Susan, my right hand (and sometimes my left too!).  It's incredibly important for these horses to have interactions with all sorts of people who are kind.  Susan and Alison do a fabulous job of spending time with these guys, vastly decreasing the amount of time it takes for them to begin trusting again.

Participating in a clinic with Jean Luc Cornille with his other human Hanna.  Jean Luc was very helpful in those early days in showing us ways to re-introduce things like the bridle in a way that worked for Sundance, no fight, no punishment, lots of room to make 'mistakes' and learn.  This was Hanna's first lesson too, they worked hard and learned a lot about each other.  One more step towards re-building trust that was so badly broken.  It was huge to be able to put a bridle and surcingle on him since both of those things were big triggers when he first arrived.

That's Sunny on the far left, laying down with the herd.  He was terribly intimidated by the other horses in the beginning so this was a big step for him.  Lately I find him lying down when I go out to feed breakfast in the morning and he'll stay there all through feeding.  Given his history with food aggression this speaks volumes about his comfort around having enough.

 

Huey showing Sunny how to remove a fly mask.  Huey is quite sure that fly masks and blankets are best used as toys, not apparel!

Allowing me to put poultice on his swollen leg from yet another kick.  One time he got a nick that I thought should be wrapped. Oh boy!  You would think that the vet wrap was deadly to horses by the way he reacted to the sound of the stuff.  He still has trouble trusting us around his legs, thankfully our farrier is endlessly patient and we're getting there.

Curiosity and Sensitiviy

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Curiosity and Sensitivity

Rio is such a wonderfully curious horse.   He is also a very sensitive horse, though he doesn’t always look it from the perspective of the casual observer.  It’s something you feel when you are with him more than when you watch him.  He’s so solid in so many ways it’s easy to think he’s fine because he appears so on the surface.  It’s only when you take time to feel what he’s feeling, to look into his eyes, that you know the depth of his sensitivity. 

I think this photo my friend Tanya of Redhawk Photography took a few nights ago speaks volumes. 

Tanya had decided to lie on the ground in the arena to take full advantage of the views and Rio zeroed in on her immediately!  He marched me right over there with what felt like great curiosity and interest.  It wasn’t until I saw the photos that I realized he was expressing some concern, you can see it in his eyes.   He seemed to need to know she was okay before we proceeded.  It certainly wasn’t fear. He seemed to know exactly what he was looking at.  But evidently, humans lying on the ground seemed to make him think something was wrong.   Once he determined that she was alive and well he was happy to go back to doing what we were doing.

His exploration reminded me how important it is to listen to and acknowledge our horses.  They perceive a much larger world than we do.  When I take the time to follow their lead, to notice what they notice, I am always rewarded for that effort.  It’s easy to see it as disobedience, something to fight over because he’s offering up something other than what I asked for.  In reality it’s not disobedience, but curiosity and sensitivity, and the last thing I want to do is shut down his innate sensitivity and curiosity by insisting that my interests are the only interests that matter.

Having Tanya come to do a formal photo shoot was good practice for me.  I want pictures of me interacting with my horses that are representative of my philosophy.  Despite the short window of time we had before we lost the last of the daylight or it started to rain in earnest it was important that I not compromise my ethics by forcing Rio to participate.   If I had we never would have gotten this wonderful shot that is so full of expression. 

Thank you Tanya, Rio and David for a fun evening!

Stormy Weekend with the Horses

Last night I began evening feeding after the sun had set.   The day had been stormy on and off and though it was cloudy and gray there was the most amazing light, causing the horse's coats to shimmer and glow. 

One of those times when I was grateful to have my camera handy!

This is my friend Rio.  He has the most remarkable face.  The softest muzzle and the brightest eyes.   He likes to come stand near the gate when I'm feeding the old fellows, no doubt hoping that I'll let him in to join the feast.   When I turned around last night there he was, looking hopeful.  The last light shining in his gorgeous eyes. 

These moments spent with the horses are precious.  Moments of undemanding time in which to do nothing more than enjoy the peace, listen to them quietly munching and appreciate their incredible beauty. 

Of course I often have assistance with feeding.  Sometimes in the form of other humans.  Last night, in the form of Georgie.  She's a good helper!  She climbs on all the stacks of hay and dutifully follows me everywhere I go.  I've never had a cat that was as much like a dog!

Today it was another stormy day.  Manes and tails blowing in the breeze. 

It's so helpful to be around the horses day in and day out.  Getting to know them in a wide variety of circumstances.  Having them live with me is invaluable when they are at my home for therapy.  The more I get to know them the more easily I can help them.

Such is the case with Gavi.  His colors are amazing in the soft light.  I don't think it's possible to take a bad picture of him!

Gavi may qualify as one of the best teachers I've ever had.  One of the more complicated and subtle horses to cross my path.  It's taken years to unravel his mysteries and begin to help him heal. 

Just a few moments from this stormy weekend.  Enjoying time spent appreciating the horses for nothing more than the beauty they bring to my daily life.

Spring Snow

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Winter came this last week of February, in the form of great fluffy white snowflakes filling the afternoon air.  Snow this time of year in Grand Junction is lovely.  It has a gentle, warm quality to it with no threat of long term cold snaps and their attending ice slicks.   I can enjoy these storms of very early spring rather than dread them.  Here are a few of my favorite photos from evening feeding a few days ago.  It was peaceful, quiet and warm.  Not a breath of wind, just giant snowflakes falling gently. Days like this are magical and cause me to stop and enjoy the beauty that is everywhere.  Days like this make me feel lucky to be alive and lucky to do what I do.  Lucky to spend my days in the presence of horses!

How do you know when something is 'off' with your horse?

I asked this question to a group of horse women at a one day workshop a few weeks ago.  When it came right down to it, everyone had the same answer.  They have a feeling that something was off.  That inner, gut reaction of simply knowing that something isn't right.  The next question I asked was:

What do you usually do when you think there's something 'off'?

Each person had their own way to verify their feeling the next time they saw their horse. This might have been putting hands on, watching them move, palpating or a visual once over.

Very often when we have that initial gut feeling that something is 'off' we won't find anything obvious to support that feeling.  So what now?  Most of these women agreed that in the absence of any hard evidence they would disregard that initial feeling and continue on as though nothing was wrong.

So if we can't find any obvious issue, does this mean that our initial feeling was invalid or inaccurate? 
I don't think so.  I believe that because all mammals are hardwired to feel and mirror what those around them are experiencing, that that initial gut feeling is always accurate.  The trick is to learn to honor our feelings and learn tools that allow us to unravel the mystery of where this subtle 'offness' might be originating.

Learning to honor our feelings, our instincts and our intuition is an important part of being an advocate for our horse.  Those feelings can keep us safe, keep our horses from being ridden when they're in pain and often prevent the development of more serious issues down the road.

A Dream

My Dad always had horses, but Ricky was
special, he was my first horse that belonged
 to me. This was our first ride on the first day
I had him.

I have this dream.  It's a dream about a horse, of course!  This dream of a quality of relationship that I have with this horse.  This horse truly wants to be with me; would chose to be with me and do things with me of his own free will.  This horse would invite me onto his back because he trusts me and wants to carry me. This horse enjoys and anticipates with pleasure the experience of our bodies moving together.

This dream seems unattainable and inaccessible.  In all my years of riding and working with horses I have not experienced more than moments of this kind of connection with my horses.  I am still searching for that dream. 

I had it when I was a child.   Riding my first horse, Ricky, bareback, barefoot through irrigated pastures - racing through green pastures with water splashing all around us to the top of the hill where I would lie on his back while he ate grass in the shade of the cottonwood trees.  We unequivocally loved each other.  There was no fear in that relationship - he was my buddy and I was his buddy.  My sister and I would take off for the day with Ricky and Danny and ride all day.  Our property bordered BLM so we would head into the back country and just explore endlessly.  I can remember getting into sticky situations where the trees were too thick and low to ride under and in absence of a trail we would get off and walk through the thick trees, down steep and rocky hillsides to find our way back.  God forbid we should have to retrace our steps!  How boring!

Ricky and I getting ready to go for a bareback ride.

Perhaps that is why the dream sticks with me.  I had it as a child and somewhere along the line I lost it.  Looking back, it seems as though the more 'educated' I became about horses and riding, the less connected and safe I felt with my horses.  Of course I've had my share of falls and frightening experiences with volatile horses (I somehow attract that variety into my life!).  As an adult there is a weight of responsibility, responsibility to earn a living and care for my equine charges.  That weight of responsibility also takes a toll on the dream.  It makes me extra cautious.  I can't afford to get hurt...

I had pretty much quit riding a few years back.  I had lots of good reasons why I had quit.  Not enough time, too many horses, working too hard with other people's horses. I do rehab so by the time they are rideable they go home.... suffice to say there were lots of reasons and they all seemed very legitimate.  But really, they were all just excuses to hide behind because the reality is that I didn't feel safe up there anymore.

In college here. That's my husband, Steve, on Ricky in the background. Still trying to win me over at that time so he was on a horse! :)  I'm in the middle on Brandy and my best friend Analise is riding my Dad's roping horse, Apache.  We had a blast galloping through the snowy fields that day.

I am beginning a new phase of my journey now.  A journey to find my own voice in relation to my work with horses.  To live the dream that I had when I was a child.  To rediscover the joy and trust that comes with being friends with my horses again!

How can I see this differently?

I find myself in this strange new place these days. 

My focus the last 8 years has been purely bodywork.  Stepping out of the role of rider/trainer was essential for me to be successful. The things that I would see as bad behavior as a trainer became essential feedback for a bodyworker.  I learned how to be very good at negotiating with my equine clients that it was fine to express their emotions while I worked on them so long as none of it was aimed at me.  Punishing a horse for expressing emotions while doing bodywork on them was counter productive.

Now I find myself working in a direction of combining the bodywork theory with training theory.  It becomes tricky to navigate sometimes.  How do I decide when I'm encountering a dominance or behavior issue vs. confusion or discomfort?  The question I find myself asking is: is it that he doesn't want to do what I'm asking or that he can't for some reason?

My experience of horses is that they very rarely choose not to cooperate simply to test us or because they flat don't want to do what we're asking.  Working with horse's physical issues I found that they often were imbalanced, uncoordinated or uncomfortable which made what I asked challenging and confusing.  I've been experimenting with this idea and have found that with very few exceptions if I present an exercise in a way that the horse can be successful he/she will do what I'm asking quite willingly.

So how can I present the exercise in a way that my horse and I can both be successful?  What if I simply change my approach from thinking he doesn't want to do what I'm asking to he doesn't understand what I want or can't do it?  How might that change the quality of the exchange?  I played with two of my horses this morning with this attitude in mind and was amazed at the attitude of patience it engendered in me and the trust it built in my equine partners.  We were successful at things today in an easy quiet way that has eluded us before. 

I hope you are all enjoying your time with your horses this summer as much as I am!